Whether you have babies, toddlers or older children, it is probably fair to say that keeping up with the demands of being a mum takes energy, and a lot of it. Especially if you don’t want to end every day in a crumpled heap.
So how do we maintain the energy levels we need to give all that we do, day in and day out, while still keeping some in reserve?
As with most things, having the basics covered is vital. If you find you have low energy, you need to be doing each of these, everyday as a minimum:
- Drink plenty of water.
- Eat a balanced and nutritious diet.
- Get enough quality sleep.
- Get outside in the fresh air and nature.
- Exercise, use your body, get physical.
Admittedly number 3 may not be entirely in your control but you can do things to mitigate the effects of sleep deprivation.
If you are consistently doing all of these things and still find you are running on empty then you may want to look deeper. It may be time to address some deeper issues and make some more significant changes.
Answer the following questions (and be prepared to make some changes, depending on the answers):
Are you doing the work that you love? (paid or unpaid). If you are a working mum and in a job you hate, it can be one of the quickest ways to haemorrhage vital energy.
Are the people you spend time with good for your spirit?
Do you spend time with people that make you feel good or do you come away from them feeling drained, angry or anxious? Your time is so valuable. Who you spend it with is pivotal to your wellbeing. We can’t always choose our family, it’s true, but we can determine how much time we chose to spend with them and the same goes for our friends.
Take a good look at your friendships. Are the people who get the most of your time and effort, the ones you really want to be devoting that much energy to? Do they value you for who you are, or just for what you can do for them? Is it an equal friendship? Are there friends that you have neglected that are more worthy (for whatever reason) of your attention and time? It can be so easy to fall into a rhythm with relationships that is comfortable, or not, and assume that you are powerless to change it. You are not. This is a great opportunity to consider the example we set for our children. If we want them to have successful, balanced and healthy relationships then we need to lead by example.
Is your home a safe, loving and comfortable place to live? Can you rest and restore when you need to? Are you happy being in your living space, or does your energy sink when you walk in the door? You may be unaware of the subtle, yet profound, impact that your space has on your energy levels and general feeling of wellbeing. Many of us are more sensitive to the environment that we might realise. If you discover that your home is in fact a drain on your energy reserves and are unable to move straight away, there are things you can do to improve the energy.
Clean and clutter clear the entire space (including important spaces you don’t see, such as lofts and under beds). If something isn’t either beautiful or useful (preferably both) then it doesn’t need to be in your space.
Make a conscious choice of what to surround yourself with. Choose images that uplift and inspire you, colours that resonate positively and possessions that hold only positive associations for you.
Create a sanctuary dedicated to your wellbeing. A cosy reading chair, meditation space, a simple garden bench, an altar whatever it is, create it with intention and use it regularly.
Space clear your home. If you haven’t done it before, and don’t want to go to the expense of getting an energy worker like me in to do it for you then there are simple ways to start. You might read Denise Lynnes book…
Fill your home with life. Bring in plants, fresh flowers, music and good friends. Liven up the energy. Be careful who you choose to bring into your space as a little of their energy will ‘rub off’ when they leave.
Am I doing more than is necessary? What can you let go of? Are you making unrealistic demands on yourself? Bach flower essence of Oak is wonderful for helping us accept our limitations.
Have you got unresolved conflict or trauma? This may not be immediately easy to answer as if it’s unresolved it is probably also suppressed to some degree. Our mind and body are very good at protecting us from painful emotions. If you can identify with any of the list below you may have some wounds to heal or emotions needing expression.
- Compulsive eating. That is, eating quickly and without conscious attention to your food and often not stopping when you are full.
- Drinking alcohol regularly (not necesarily in large quantities)
- Watching excessive amounts of TV
- Excessive exercising or dieting
- Outbursts of anger
- Panic attacks or anxiety
- Regular feelings of guilt, overwhelm or resentment
- Avoidance of issues or certain people
- Chronic skin complaints (or any other chronic condition)
If you have identified that there may be some work to be done, be patient. Start to open an enquiry as to how you truly feel deep down and what you might need. Seek help where appropriate and above all be gentle with yourself. Old deep wounds, if re-opened, may be very painful and upset the balance of things in the short term. But cleaning and clearing thoroughly allows for true, more lasting healing to take place.
When we expend less vital energy on situations and emotions that drain us we liberate that flow and clear the channel for a more sustainable current of peace and joy to run through our lives.